Passageways
by kannuki
Summary: Day after day, what the morning gave and the nighttime took away was the very same thing. Shimako/Noriko


...:Passageways

Shimako/Noriko

At times, in the green backyard, when they treaded carefully not to break the gingko nuts, it happened suddenly, like a flicker of light before the thunder. Still, there was no echoing and no storm (_calm before a catastrophe and it took their breath away_), just a tiny bit of electricity. As soon as this inexplicable thing took place, something would shift in the air and would remain hung up between the two of them like a thread. If only, if only one of them tugged at it, hardly even touching, it might have pulled them together but that was too bold and too frightening. Instead, they only quietly acknowledged the small change and looked away hesitantly. After that, they would be very careful in their steps, as if going around something more than just gingko.

Sometimes, they walked along a path brightened by the late afternoon sun and words would simply flow, without any need to be repeated for better understanding. Noriko could not help but feel slightly flattered that her words were always taken into account, never ignored, and she hoped, just a little, that Shimako cherished Noriko's words to the extent that Noriko treasured hers. She often stopped to think what exactly was going on, since she had never been subjected to this kind of feverish happiness before. She liked to be her regular level-headed self but this newly revised version of Noriko was not terribly out of place either. She was now a girl who had a heaven dropped down right on her outstretched hands and although she was a bit scared of jumping in head-first, she could feel a hope blossoming - maybe one day those unspoken wishes would take shape and drown in warmth.

Not long ago, Shimako learned how to get rid of a sudden prickle at the corner of her eyes at the most unfortunate moments, especially when her legs would unconsciously lead her toward a place that used to be a spot where she spent time with her grande soeur. She had always felt a kind of longing for something undefinable and even when she was together with Sei, she reached and reached but could not quite find any relief. What breaks hearts can also bring new beginnings, and so, Shimako met a girl who molded her heart into a different shape and somehow, Shimako was happier with this one.  
There were still times when she, with a sense of betrayal, wondered how it would have been if Sei's hand had been still in hers, instead of Noriko's warm fingers. Forgetting was not an especially easy task and at times she would feel like giving up and accepting that Sei would always be the first and the last. But Noriko's smile in a rush of light was not unlike a miracle and the girl stole her attention, slowly climbing up (_a quiet conquer is the most dangerous one_).

One night, a particularly starry and dark blue sky covered the world in complete silence and tension that needed not just a storm but rather hours and hours of rain and lightnings. It started like one of those regular trips they had started making together along the way, but instead of staying in a hotel (it felt like being grown-up, with excitement and a joke of a responsibility) they were sitting on a field of grass and enjoying moments like those from a movie. They did not really embody proper girls of Lillian that night and that was not limited to quite graceless running on the grass, it was also the intoxicating feeling of freedom and a false sense of being able to do anything. Maybe it was not false, but rather they were just afraid of what consequences trailed after one wrong touch or a word that was overly filled with need. For there was no certainty - what was it that they really wanted or, rather, would the universe soar or crash with the revelation?

In the evenings, Noriko would sometimes stand beside the window and imagine things. She could not see her own reflection very well at those times, or perhaps she was just avoiding her own eyes. A thought that started as an innocent seed found a perfect spot inside her, exactly around where her heart was the warmest, and continued growing until it became a flower. But with every look Shimako gave her, each smile that curved like a word of promise, she felt that the flower was simply too ready to bloom and would soon burst without caring if its petals would reveal an unspeakable secret while falling down. Noriko spelled warnings and threats against her own skin but it would only tingle as if laughing at her and so, she had to give in and continue dreaming. With every step further she took inside the dream, the more obvious it became that she was hesitantly making preparations to make it come true.

Moments in time, like a string of pearls that had been snapped suddenly, had been scattered on the ground (_under that tree_) and Shimako could never hope to make them complete again. Instead, there came someone who had offered to do it for her and meticulously linked hours and days together until they became weeks and months. Shimako learned how to make a passage between her own self from the past and the one of the present. A most great surprise was a realization that maybe she did not have to erase and change anything but rather move on and overcome. What she refused to believe with unwavering stubbornness was a nagging thought that suggested, only hinted at the fact that the world was more colourful that it used to be and that she was happier than she had ever been. She had never imagined that it would be that difficult - to admit that what was in her heart now did not even exist when Sei was still near.

Day after day, what the morning gave and the nighttime took away was the very same thing. _Her face_.

Over the course of time, there appeared decisions to be made, even though they were still a little unexperienced at being adults. There was only so much time they could spend secluded in the rose gardens and the safety of brick walls and statues with gentle eyes, forgiving of many sins. Noriko imagined standing up to less understanding looks and Shimako's eyes were sometimes hooded with worry. But great treasures came as a package together with equally big responsibilities so it all made sense and the righteousness, the beauty and the hope of what they grasped in their hands were enough to ease the tension built up visibly on their shoulders. Sometimes they would return to the gardens and seal silent promises on each other's lips in the place where it had all begun. It was an oath and a dance of soaring high enough to touch the clouds, where they confirmed again that some stories had the most beautiful beginnings and no endings at all.

Notes: I hope no one is too disappointed by some amount of Sei/Shimako. The thing is, Shimako's personality is impossible to grasp without at least mentioning her grande soeur and besides, old loves don't just vanish so quickly, do they?


End file.
